How do you spell eeeeuuuuwwwwlllghhhhh???

Okay, have you seen the commercial for that yogurt stuff that's supposed to boost your immune system?

Stop.

Who would ingest that stuff? Ya know the woman in that commercial? The one who touches the paper towel dispenser with her elbows and all? I am that girl. And everyone knows I am so that girl.

I flush toilets with my feet. Yes, I do. It's only good sense if you think about it.

My darling Kristen goes so far as to say I have an Amoeba Aversion. So when her son, Cory, learned in school what amoebas really are, he took it upon himself to inform me. He thought it peculiar that I was so afraid of a measly, weasly one-celled organism. I love Cory. Happy Birthday, Cory.

Now, back to this immune-boosting custard. What can they possibly have channeled into a yogurt cup? How? Why? Why don't I just go into an inner-city bus stop restroom and lick the toilet seat?