Remember in 50 First Dates when Lucy decided to erase Henry by ripping out all the pages in her notebook? In Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, he spoke to me when Jim Carrey's character yells, "I'm erasing you! And I'm happy!"

I have done this. I have deleted people. In fact, the most interesting to me was when Scot was erased. I woke up from brain surgery, and I knew he still existed somewhere in the universe, but the love was gone. And I was so glad. That wasn't love, I don't think, but some kind of neuro- tumor-related, anxiety attack that lasted more than two years. And I don't ever want to feel like that about someone again.

And the Friends episode where Ross scolds Rachel for belatedly revealing her affections (Him: "This ship has sailed!" Her: "I don't need your stupid ship!").

Before I ever got sick, this is how it worked: in those days, if I broke up with somebody, let's call him Dubutru, I just deleted his file in my e-mail account, and he was gone. Out of my head and my heart. That's all it took then.

I think it was right around the time that lightning struck WDAY and zapped my headphones, and turned to charcoal that squirrel they found in the parking lot, that things began to get cloudy...